afterlogs | So...

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So...

WHO: Hinata and Leon
WHAT: Egg baby daddies
WHEN: January 22nd
WHERE: Health class
WARNINGS: Morons

[He just had to come to class today, didn't he? Why hadn't he slept in or something? Eggs? It didn't exactly sound difficult, just...]

[This is so awkward.]

[Hinata took a deep breath to steel himself, walking across the classroom to the noisy guy with the red hair, egg carefully cupped in his palm. He cleared his throat noisily when he got there, his free hand settled impatiently on his hip.]

Ah... I guess we're... partners... [He couldn't have been paired up with a cute girl? Really? Someone was probably laughing at him right now...]

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[ This is seriously the worst. Why are they even required to do this kind of stuff at school, the normal work is already boring enough but this is something they have to take care of even outside of class hours?! This afterlife is starting to look more and more like hell.. so Leon can't help but only let out a sigh once Hinata speaks up to him. ]

I don't get it, I don't get it at all..! [ Sorry, but apparently Leon is still stuck in the denial part of the phases of acceptance.. ] Why do we even need to do this stuff, huh?! Why can't we just throw it on the floor and be done with it?!

[Hinata defensively cups the egg between his hands, as if he expects Leon to jump up and smash it right then.]

Oi-! I don't want to write a paper, do you!? [He pushes a sigh through his nose, picking the egg up between two of his fingers and looking it over.] Look, it's... like a video game. All we have to do is take turns and we'll get a meal ticket, alright?

[Sure, that's all well and good... until someone drops a book on the floor, loud enough to make the egg in Hinata's palm start crying. Loudly.]

A video game, are you for--

[ .. real. Except he doesn't even get to finish his sentence since the sound of that thing absolutely drowns out anything else. God, why did he ever come to class today, this was the worst mistake of his life.. Leon puts his hand inside his hair and groans loudly. ]

Turn it off..!! C'mon!

How!?

[He held the egg out in front of him as if it were going to explode, looking around as the NPC students started to take notice of the noise. Realizing that Leon wasn't going to help, Hinata pulled the egg in close to his chest and... rocked it in his hands.]

Er... rock a bye baby... [Sure, it was embarrassing, but it was... working? The crying was getting a little quieter anyhow...]

[ He was about to scold Hinata for using such a dumb method to keep an egg of all things from making sound, but then he blinks in surprise instead when he notices it's working after all.. ]

Wait, we're supposed to calm it down like that?! That's embarassing as hell, no way I can do that! [ In other words, you do it, Hinata.. ]

[Leon's whining only makes the egg-baby cry more, prompting Hinata to silence him with a noisy:] Shhh!!

[Assuming Leon actually shuts up, Hinata hums to the egg until it finally quiets down. He sighs heavily, turning his eyes on the redhead.] ...You're going to. You're a rockstar or something, right? That means you can sing.

[Two of Hinata's ~~secret~~ loves are at stake here: the laziness of not having to write a paper, and a magical(?) meal ticket. He doesn't really seem to be giving Leon a whole lot of room to argue here...]

Me?!

[ At least he only pipes up again after Hinata speaks up again. But at least it's because of a good reason, since he definitely has to protest this. ]

Have you ever seen a kid being sung to sleep with fucking punk rock?! I sing that shit, not lullabies!

[ He's not even thinking he might set the egg off again.. he'll learn though.

Eventually.

Probably. ]

[Well, if the point of the assignment was to teach them the responsibilities of parenthood, Hinata was definitely feeling it as he tried to shield the egg from Leon's yelling.]

[Too bad it started crying. You know, again. Thanks, Leon.]

But you do sing right!? So do it! [Suddenly, Hinata was thrusting the crying egg in Leon's direction. It's time to put up or shut up, Leon...]

[ Oh god. Why are you doing this to him, Hinata, this is exactly why he wanted to be paired up with a girl instead who'd do all the work for him instead of driving him into a corner like this..!! He's starting to look progressively more and more awkward as the egg keeps crying, but in the end he does know he doesn't have much of a choice here.

Okay, lullabies, lullabies... kids songs, maybe?! Okay, the one he knows.. ]

Uh...

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.. [ He's singing it, at least, but he's looking embarassed as all hell. It doesn't even sound all that good.. ] H--.. how I wonder what you are..

[ Someone please just kill him, that'd be more merciful at this point. ]

[There's something incredibly satisfying about making morons do moronic things, especially when Hinata is benefiting from it. ~~This guy kind of reminds him of Noda.~~]

See? You've got it!

[That would sound encouraging, except...]

Well, I've got somewhere to be. See you later, Kuwata-kun! [Yeah, he sure is leaving, slipping a hand into his pocket and turning on his heel, giving a half-assed wave over his shoulder as he makes for the door. If Leon doesn't catch him now, surely he'll have to deal with a grumpy Leon later...]

[ AHAHAHAHA NOPE. Nope, Hinata, nope nope nope. There aren't enough nopes to describe the kind of thought that goes through Leon's mind the moment Hinata announces he's leaving, and instead of just telling him to stop, Leon storms right after him and puts out his foot so he can hook it with Hinata's to - if the other guy isn't paying enough attention to what Leon is doing here - effectively make him trip.

At least Leon is bothering to hold onto the egg instead of just plainly dropping it and ruining their assignment from the beginning, that's got to count for something, right? ]

Not so fast, asshole..!

[He was way too involved in his super cool exit to notice when Leon tried--and succeeded--in tripping him, sending Hinata down to the floor on his face. The fall is spectacular, limbs flailing until he comes to rest flat on the floor of the classroom. He groans in pain, peeling himself off the floor, wiping his face with his sleeve to find that his nose is bleeding.]

What the hell was that!?

[Of course, his screaming makes the egg start crying, prompting Hinata to take handfuls of his hair in frustration.] Can't we just leave it in a sock drawer or something!?

[ He's paying more attention to the egg now than to Hinata's blood nose (for.. better or worse..?) as he tries to hold it at an arm's length away from him to keep himself from going deaf. As if the egg's crying could possibly be worse for him than all that loud music he listens to. ]

Dude, this one's your fault! Don't all babies cry when their mom runs away?! [ Yes, he already decided you're the mother, okay. Leon can't be the mom. He's too manly. ]

[Oh he did not just-]

Did you- Did you just call me the mom!?

[Hinata is so aggravated by the whole thing, he's already red in the face, shouting the first comeback he can think of.] At least I don't wear makeup!

[He's onto your "punk rock" eyeliner, Leon...]

[ To Leon it was pretty natural that Hinata was going to be the mom here, since.. well, there's no way Leon could be the mom, and then someone else has to be, huh?

But then Hinata dares to insult the eyeliner. Oh no, you didn't just go there ~~gurrrlll~~. ]

It's not makeup, it's punk rock! Like a guy like you'd understand! [ Let him live out his loser passion.. ] There's no such things as punk rock moms, so you're the mom, yeah!

The only people I've seen wear makeup are girls and visual kei bands!

[IT'S ON.]

Dude, are you seriously telling me you've never heard of Kiss before?! What kind of shitty taste in music do you have?

[ Not that Leon would wear anything that extreme.

But, you know. It makes his eyeliner look a whole lot less bad compared to that. ]

Isn't that the grown men in high heels?

[HINATA...]

They're platform boots!

[ WOW, HINATA. Appreciate fine rock fashion, will you! ]

There's like a world of difference between those two things! Only a blind person wouldn't be able to tell the difference!

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So...

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wow this is late feel free to ignore me

how dare you gently shoves out of window

dies horribly

did you just seriously compare them to spongebob and patrick i'm crying

i sure did

whoooo lives in a school dorm in the afterlife...

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snaps fingers in a z formation

WELL SU-MI-MA-SEN HINATA-KUN!!!!!

THAT'S SENPAI TO YOU!!!

HE CAN GET SENPAI WHEN HE STOPS BEING A BUTT!!