afterlogs | i don't know, you don't know, nobody does

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i don't know, you don't know, nobody does

WHO: Haruhi Suzumiya, Homura Akemi, Himeko Inaba and you.
WHAT: Dark allies event open catch-all post for my characters.
WHEN: During the Dark Allies event (03/17-03/21)
WHERE: Everywhere
WARNINGS: Cursing, violence. Also Rebellion spoilers for Homura.

Haruhi

[ Haruhi's nice enough to help out anyone she sees, but only because seeing people getting swallowed up by shadows isn't a good thing. It hurts that she can't save everyone, but she's one person. She's no army, she's just Haruhi Suzumiya, ex-brigade chief and current student body president of the afterlife high school.

Which is why she'll also send out a message via text message to everyone, regardless if she knows you or not.

The text message reads the following:

Stay safe. If you can arm yourself, do it. If you can't, then find me. Reply ASAP if you wish to find me, since I'm not going to stay in one place for long.

Also: If you're planning to hide, feel free to use the student council room as a temporary headquarters, though it is not highly recommended.

If you have any questions, be quick. Time is of the essence.

And good luck.

Any shadow that shows up within Haruhi's range, however is going to be shot; the brunette's currently using a regular police handgun that she made several months ago using atomic restructuring for any shadow that isn't within her reach.

She's paying close attention to her surroundings - perhaps too close - but it's not as if she won't lend a hand for anyone who needs it. But fair warning: she'll be protecting herself over other people when it comes down to it. ]

Homura

[ Homura's been paying attention to everything that's going on, but it's not as if she cares all that much. The only thing that matters is Madoka's safety, and she's going to be the one that procures it, not matter what. She's keeping tabs on Madoka by using her minions to off several of the shadows before some of them get sucked in themselves.

It's okay; it's not as if they're human to begin with, after all. Even though they're a part of Homura, they're just a portion of her essence, so it's not that huge of a problem.

She'll even chase them all the way upstairs to what seems to be a dead-end before jumping off the roof, black wings appearing on her back as she transforms into her magical girl state, taking out several guns from her shield as she shoots several of the shadows down to the ground; she won't allow them to touch her or the one she cares the most.

Basically, Homura will be running around and offing any shadow that comes her way - and possibly anybody else who dares stand in her way. She's not only using guns, but also her magical purple bow and arrow.

Of course, she doesn't have to care about wasting magic; she's no longer a magical girl after all.. ]

Himeko

[ Admist all the chaos, there's one Himeko Inaba who seems to be hanging out with several of the other NPCs with a happy look in her eyes, laughing while eating with others during lunch, and that is quite a weird sight. When shadows do show up, there is a sign of shock in her eyes, but it's nothing compared to what fear feels like to her.

Basically, she's happy now.

There's no need for her to fear anything anymore most of the time, especially since the shadows are now ignoring her. She can be found still attending classes like nobody else and acting quite... demure.

It's kind of creepy, honestly. Though if she does see someone she knows, she might as well chat them up! She can be helpful, after all! ]

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[ Her expression falls a little again when she hears Homura reply. Then again, a temporary truce is better than no truce at all, and maybe they can slowly work from there?

It's not like she isn't still curious about the things Sayaka told her, but.. on the other hand, Homura is her friend too. It would be rude to just lose all faith in the girl. ]

... That's right.. you shouldn't fight. Um, I think Sayaka-chan probably misunderstood some things about you [ more like you just don't know the whole story, Madoka ] but if you work that out, I think you could be friends too..

That depends on what exactly you think she misunderstood about me, Madoka.

[ She's slightly curious as to what exactly Sayaka told Madoka; not that it really mattered to her. Homura doesn't care. ]

Did you tell her about the things you told me..?

[ She thinks that's what Sayaka must have misunderstood. Homura destroying the world.. maybe her friend just thought that Homura destroyed a world every time she travelled through time, but it's just that it were worlds she wasn't able to help anymore at that point, right? ]

I did not. There was no reason for me to tell her.

[ Instead, she told Sayaka other things. But those were things that she believed were the truth as well.. ]

... Huh? But..

[ This is so confusing. She wonders if she should tell Homura, but she figures that in the end, it's the easiest, so she slowly goes on. ]

Sayaka-chan said that.. you said you destroyed the world.

I did say that I might have done such a thing.

[ She won't bother lying to Madoka, there's absolutely no point to it, after all. Might as well say it. ]

I don't remember doing it, though I did consider it at a certain point.

[ Huh.. that makes it sound less serious than what Sayaka is saying, even though it's still a little bad.. but then again, it's always hard to get a full grip on Homura, even though the girl did already tell her a lot about herself. Maybe Homura was just in so much pain over trying to save her again and again that she couldn't take it anymore at one point?

Somehow that thought is.. sad, isn't it..? ]

Hmm.. If anything is ever wrong, Homura-chan, um.. [ It's a little hard for her to say, and she almost looks sort of nervous, but she manages to get it out. ] .. you can always tell me. That's what friends are for..

[ Homura's violet eyes immediately glance away from Madoka's stare as she says those words, gritting her teeth as she speaks. There's cruelty to her words, and she doesn't know if she wants to tell Madoka the truth.

Deep down, she's scared.

She's scared of being rejected by her. Which is why she'll spin on her heel, her back facing Madoka's. She can't show her face or her emotions to the girl out of fear of being left alone again. ]

I'm fine. Let's go.

[ ..

Ah, right. They can't just stand around here under these conditions.. and if she sticks with Homura, then she can at least keep an eye out for the other girl, right? It does seem like something is wrong with her or a little off, but rather than taking it as a warning sign (which she really should after Mami and Sayaka's warnings) Madoka instead takes it as a reason for concern.

She grasps the bow Homura gave her a little more tightly. ]

Y-yes! I'll be right behind you.

I'll make sure to protect you.

[ She has eyes in the back of her head, after all. Perhaps not literally, but in a figurative sense. Her minions can watch out for Madoka and at the same time protect her from behind. There's no way she's going to allow any of those shadows touch her.

Not now, not ever. ]

Stay close.

Hmm. [ If she's decided to stick with Homura despite what the others said, then she might as well commit herself to it in a dangerous situation. If she doesn't do her best, then she'll be in more danger, and that means Homura will put herself into more danger as well in order to protect her - it's a vicious cycle. So Madoka nods. ]

But.. please be careful, Homura-chan. I don't want you to get hurt either.

Don't worry.

[ She shakes her head dismissively as she tosses her hair in the air. It's not a big deal - at least, to her - if her wellbeing is in danger. She no longer minds the pain. ]

I'll be alright.

Well, you're strong..

[ Madoka says it with a small awkward giggle, as if she's saying she can't disagree with that. But on the other hand, Madoka - of all people - knows that Homura isn't always as strong as she seems. She remembers that much from the girl crying on her before. So she's at least determined to help out the other girl in order to prevent that from happening again. ]

Perhaps. But the one who is truly strong is you, Madoka.

[ She closes her eyes for a second, only to calm herself down before opening her violet eyes wide, readying her black bow as she keeps a careful eye out for shadows. ]

.. No way, Homura-chan..

[ It's not that she sounds sad - even now, she's trying to smile at least a little bit, if not just for Homura's sake since she knows very well that the other girl worries about her - but there's something a little awkward or reluctant in her tone as she says it. ]

You're so strong and you can protect me so easily.. you've protected me all this time, even though it must've been hard. That's.. what true strength is, I think. Compared to that, I can't really do anything..

That's not true.

[ Homura shakes her head in response, her voice a little solemn as she clenches her hands into tight fists. ]

You...

[ Her voice cracks as she speaks, tears starting at the edges of her eyes. But she sniffles them back in, trying not to show Madoka how lame she was. She wanted to look cool in front of her friend. Her very best friend. Her only friend.]

You're much stronger than you know, Madoka. You're able to make the hard decisions when it comes down to it.

[ Even if Homura tries to hold back, it's hard to not notice from this distance that the other girl is upset.

And the very thought of that makes all of Mami's and Sayaka's warning melt away like snow under the burning sun. Homura isn't the type who'd just destroy the world-- she tries so hard and she's so hurt, so.. what she needs is not people staying away from her, but people helping her.

Madoka helping her.

Homura's hands might be fists, but Madoka still reaches out for them until she's holding them with both of her hands. ]

It's alright. [ She doesn't know what exactly is hurting Homura, but as long as she's here, she'll make sure everything is alright for the other girl. ] It's really alright, Homura-chan.. It doesn't matter which one of us is stronger. There's no need to be upset, right..?

Eh..?

[ Her hands slowly unclench themselves as she lifts up her head to look directly at Madoka, sniffling her tears back into her eyes, not wanting anyone, especially her to see her weakness.

Homura's voice then softens, though it's clear that it's cracking, slowly returning to who she was before she became a magical girl. ]

How.. How can you be so sure that it's going to be alright? I...

[ She's questioning herself again. Homura doesn't know what to do and protecting Madoka is the only thing that she can do. Sayaka was right, back then. She relied too much on her magic, but for a good reason.

Without it, she would be nothing.

She would have died, back then.

That's why... all she could do was protect Madoka, even if everyone else hated her and despised her. ]

I could have done it! I told her that I would. After all the wraiths were gone, I would have destroyed the world, Madoka!

[ Her voice is strained as she says those words. It's almost as if she's trying to force them out, to keep Madoka away from her. Because that's exactly what she wants.

It would be better for her, anyway. She's "evil" now. She's the existence known as the devil, a magical girl who turned into a witch and then took that goddess known as Kaname Madoka and brought her back down to Earth for her own selfish needs.

Because she loved Madoka.

Nobody understood her. Nobody had to understand her.

These were her feelings, hers alone. ]

That's why... all I can do now is protect you. I want you to live in a world where you can be happy, Madoka..!

Edited (i can html) 2014-04-11 17:57 (UTC)

[ To be fair, it does make her a little sad, hearing those words from Homura-- "I would have destroyed the world." There's no way a girl like Madoka would ever want to see the world be destroyed like that, after all. But on the other hand, Homura seems so sad about it by now, and even though she says she would have, it's not like she did it.. there's a difference there, right?

From the way Homura talks to her now, so full of sorrow.. it's almost like there's more of a reluctance to those words, especially with that strain that accompanies her tone.

It isn't right. None of this is. Homura's happiness shouldn't be dependant on her own. She wants to see the other girl happy more than anything, but.. it shouldn't just have to be because of her. It isn't right. She isn't even important enough for that, so... ]

... Homura-chan..

[ For a moment sadness lingers in her gaze, but then she tries to smile softly again. No, she has to be the strong one this time. For Homura's sake as well. ]

We might have died, but.. that doesn't mean there isn't anything else left for you. Even if you wanted to destroy the world, you didn't do it. There's probably reasons for that, and.. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to believe in you.

[ Because they're friends. ]

A world where you can live happily and normally too along with everyone else without having to think of being a magical girl.. that would make me really, really happy too. As long as you're happy, and everyone else is happy.. then I'm happy too, you know? [ And that's the truth. It's not hard to make Madoka happy when she's so easily happy at other people's happiness, especially the people closest to her. ]

Really?

[ She's holding back in her tears as she speaks, the sound of her voice cracking as her hands slowly close into tightened fists. Homura hates herself, she hates herself so much.

"Even if you wanted to destroy the world, you didn't do it."

A part of her heart breaks at those words, and she can barely hold her feelings in. She doesn't remember destroying the world, but she doesn't remember not doing it, either. She doesn't know how she even died. ]

But, I...

[ She takes a wobbly step back, confused and uncertain about it all. The emotions written on her face are mixed, she doesn't know how she's supposed to feel. ]

I'm no longer a magical girl, Madoka! Because I'm--

[ And right then and there, she cracks, insanity in her expression as her transformation shifts, no longer remaining in her "magical girl" form, instead revealing the true Homura Akemi at its finest, her eyes now a sickening blood red instead of her natural violet, several of the Clara Dolls surrounding her as they speak, saying, "Gott ist tot!" while throwing tomatoes at her.

They don't seem to like her very much, even if they are her minions. ]

I've turned into the devil, you know...?

[ There was something wrong with Homura. Madoka knew that much, but she half dismissed it as it being something small, maybe something she couldn't understand but that didn't matter a whole lot.

One of the things Madoka didn't expect to see is this. Homura in a different outfit, with those things--

-- like a witch.

It takes her a moment to reach that conclusion, but then Madoka realises what it makes her think of. She thinks of Sayaka, of seeing her as a witch, of seeing her minions - it's just like that, except Homura is still looking mostly human.

Her heart pounds loudly in her chest, unsure of what exactly is going on, but the situation is so similar to that one time that she can't help but feel afraid. For her own sake, too, but mostly for Homura's. What happened to her, why would.. ]

.. Homura-chan..! W.. what are you saying..? [ Her voice shakes, her expression worried. ]

After you-- no, let me correct myself. After Kaname Madoka made her wish to erase all witches, I was left alone in the new world, being the only person to retain her memories of witches. In place of them, magical girls now had to fight wraiths. But then I messed up. I told Kyuubey that the 'Law of the Cycles' was a magical girl named 'Kaname Madoka'.

He then decided to isolate my soul gem out in the middle of scenic nowhere which allowed myself to become a witch from the inside. He described it as a chick hatching within the egg shell.

[ Of course, her familiars don't stop throwing those tomatoes (which they found in the kitchen!) at Homura, but she doesn't wince, she doesn't move, she simply ignores it all as they fall splat on the floor. ]

Of course, I created a labyrinth within my soul gem and took in some people into my world, which consisted of yourself, Miki Sayaka, Tomoe Mami, Kyouko Sakura, and others who you may or may not know.

I then found out the Incubator's plan: to control you, Madoka. I wasn't going to let that happen, so I simply decided that it would be best to kill myself. But my plan was thwarted and I woke up in the real world, ready to be set free.

[ A light, but slightly eerie laugh comes off the young girl's lips. ]

When I was in the new world, I was the only one who remembered Kaname Madoka. As days went by, I slowly began asking myself if she was real in the first place. But when I was free, I simply decided to snatch that power and bring you back to Earth with everyone else again, simple as that.

I gained more power because of how strong my feelings are. But I lost something in return. But that didn't matter to me, because all I wanted was a world where you could be happy and no longer alone.

[ That's a lot of information at once.

And that's still an understatement in itself.

Madoka isn't sure if she can even understand all of it, it's too much to take in all at once, but on the other hand, it's not something she can ignore either. Homura did a lot of things without consulting anyone, without asking anyone else what they wanted-- she just assumed what Madoka wanted and did that. And it's not like Madoka can even fully grasp the situation considering it's not exactly like she knows what would have happened to her after she made her wish.

Although, of course, she would still have sacrificed herself without second thoughts all the same even if she did know. ]

Why..? [ That's the prime question that arises in her mind as she hears all of it, and she clasps both of her hands together. ] Why did you do all of that, Homura-chan..? Why did you become like that? That's--.. t.. that's not what I'd want at all..!

You wouldn't understand, Madoka. Because it's only something that I feel.

[ She merely shakes her head in response, her hands tightening into clenched fists as her eyes lowered. She couldn't bear to look at her directly, not like this. ]

I can't do anything but protect you. If I didn't, the Incubators would have...

...

Mami-san and Sayaka-chan.. they already said I should stay away from you. [ Now she gets it. What they knew and what she didn't know. Sure, she might not be as quick to reject Homura as them, but still, hearing something like this.. ]

But.. I didn't understand why they said so all this time. I thought you were a good person, Homura-chan..

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o o p s spoiler warning up in here

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