tenminutes: (Broken and a little psycho.)
Yuri "Yurippe" Nakamura ([personal profile] tenminutes) wrote in [community profile] afterlogs2014-06-20 12:00 am

Just a little breakdown...

WHO: Accelerator, Kohaku, anyone else who wants to show up?
WHAT: After everything just keeps piling up, Yuri is finally at her breaking point.
WHEN: June 20th, ~7am.
WHERE: Various, due to the Boogie Wonderland event, but starting in the living room of House A.
WARNINGS: Violence against NPCs, psychological breakdown, lack of sleep, shadows, cursing, potentially violence against human-y people too, screaming, potentially crying.

[ Yuri had found her way back to one of the rooms in the safe zone. It wasn't even hers, it was just the living room space of their house. She knew it was theirs because that was the couch that Hinata had slept on, it had a stupid knick in the fabric from when she'd been playing with her knife and accidentally got it. A bullet hole in the back from one of the times that the residents of their house had gotten a little too rough and loud. (One of the many times.) Things in the room were arranged just as they'd left them before things got.. strange.

It'd been days since Yuri'd found any place in the safe zone, and she didn't even know if it still worked because of the glitch. She hadn't actually eaten in days after the first time something went wrong with drinking something on the first day. Yuri sat down on the couch, her knees up to her chest and her gun in front of her. She'd been injured from coming out above some of the trees before, there was crusted blood on her leg where her thigh highs were torn but the injury had healed a while ago. She'd wasted a good number of her bullets fighting an oversized cat that decided she was lunch on her way back to the school area. Then the shadows.. She only had a couple of bullets left, at least until she got the spare box from under the couch cushions.

Somehow she'd even managed to not be able to find anyone real these past few days. Nothing felt real anymore. As she settled in on the couch she let her eyes fall half-shut. She wanted to sleep, even if she couldn't be sure that this 'safe area' was still safe. It felt safe, because it used to be Hinata's, but.. A pang hit her heart again. Honestly, she'd lost a lot of people, but she'd never lost them after they'd found out that she had feelings for them. She hadn't said it out loud, but it was impossible not to know, and after that he'd disappeared..

She wasn't sure if it was her fault, and she was sure that Hinata wouldn't want her to blame herself, but.. if this kept going on, she was going to lose everyone. She didn't even know if she had anyone left. She hadn't seen any, she was probably already alone.

This wasn't her fault, this was his fault. The Programmer's. Everything wrong here was his fault right now, except why she was here. Maybe he had something to do with the people who disappeared in weird circumstances too.

If he was hiding amongst the NPCs, then..

Yuri couldn't remember why she wasn't supposed to kill them. They weren't human. The Programmer was even less human than the NPCs. The NPCs were just shadows with masks on, really. The Programmer was just a human wearing the same mask as an NPC so he didn't get found amongst his monsters. They weren't human. They didn't have emotions, they couldn't hurt like this!

Yuri suddenly started laughing, gripping her gun tighter. If she went out feeling like this, she had no doubt that even the NPCs that hadn't turned yet would start showing their true faces. Her laughter grew, her voice cracking a little. ]


The Programmer can't turn into a shadow!

[ He'll be the only one to drop if she manages to kill him. Then she can make him feel what it's like to lose everything until he fixes it. Yuri wasn't sure she'd stop hurting him then, not after everything, but there was one thing she knew for sure.

That pesky speck of guilt she'd always felt about thinking of the possibility of burying him alive was gone.

Yuri stood up, trying to stop herself from laughing again. She didn't know how close the others were. Maybe they weren't close at all, or maybe they were in their rooms and could hear her and just couldn't get to her. It didn't matter anymore.

Another deep breath and her face went blank. She'd choke the breath out of every last one of them until she found him if she had to. When she reached the door, her hand hesitated, hovering over the doorknob. She didn't know where it'd take her, but she couldn't do this anymore. She'd watch the world burn before that. ]
onewayroad: (you try to break the mould)

[personal profile] onewayroad 2014-06-20 10:12 am (UTC)(link)
[Accelerator had had nearly as bad luck during the past few days. There were only NPCs wherever he went. Most food or drink he tried to consume wound up less than palatable, with tastes, textures, and temperatures all wonky and the odd effect occurring now and then. Eventually he'd foregone everything besides canned coffee. About half the time it was safe. (The other half of the time it turned into other beverages which he'd just drink as long as it wasn't completely revolting.) After nearly a week of this, the hunger had devolved into a dull, hook-like ache that never entirely faded away.

Surfaces were a pain in the neck. Gravity was uneven and wouldn't stop fluctuating in strength. The walls dripped to the point of partial melting. When he tried to open windows the proper way to get around the doors' spatial coordinate mismatch issues, the window openings would act the same for him. The only way for him to circumvent it at all was by breaking through the walls themselves. And even that didn't behave as per normal.

And then there was the issue of his powers. An esper's ability only manifested itself when the esper's Personal Reality interfered with the surrounding reality. The instability of the reality around him combined with his recent recovery from NPC programming made for a double-whammy of interference, enough to make his ability of vector transformation anywhere from completely unusable to barely fully under his control.

The laws governing the reality of the afterlife have destabilized, deviated, mutated... It took Accelerator a long time to stabilize his own ability, grasp control of his Personal Reality, and only now was he making any headway on reverse-engineering the aforementioned aberrational laws. Information he needs to include in his algorithms if he wants his powers to work reliably. It hadn't taken long with the #2's Dark Matter, but that had had profound differences from the current situation and a much smaller scope.

He currently has no idea what time it is. He's spent the last few hours at the school swimming pool practicing with water flow control, and now is tired enough to seek out someplace else for a break. This is why he stands in front of the door leading to the boy's locker room and pulls it open, looks in, shuts the door upon deciding he doesn't care for where it leads, and repeats the sequence. For once it'd be nice to get the door to the school roof, so he can get outside through that and head to the town that way.

On about the eighth try he pulls it wide open and finds himself staring at Yuri, the first real person he's seen in what seems like forever. He stands there, an ugly pang in his stomach and a dumbfounded look spreading across his face. Behind her is one of the house's living rooms. Yuri looks like hell.

As for him, his clothes are rumpled, dirty, torn and lightly damp from the water earlier, his hair's a mess like he slept on it wrong, and the bags under his eyes that come and go have returned full force.]


...Yuri?
onewayroad: (every cloud is grey)

[personal profile] onewayroad 2014-06-22 08:41 am (UTC)(link)
[he steps further in front of the opened door to block her passage, hand remaining on the knob while his other hand goes for the gun at his side. he doesn't pull it out yet, though he might if he doesn't like where this goes. a neutral, not-quite-scowl replaces the dumbfounded look from just a moment ago.]

No. You move. There's nothing of value in the pool room, so don't bother going in there.

[The nature of her goal eludes him, but he does sense that something's off about her.]
onewayroad: (wave them like you don't give a fuck)

[personal profile] onewayroad 2014-06-22 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Not in there, no.

[hand still firmly on the grip of his gun, he lets himself in, eyeing her strangely and suspiciously when she doesn't let go of the door knob even though he does. he's no longer completely blocking the doorway, but he's very close to it. his gaze flicks to her hand on the knob, then back at her face.]

Why do you care?

[There's at least a couple different reasons one might, but he might as well have her specify.]
onewayroad: (jack is all tragic)

[personal profile] onewayroad 2014-06-23 07:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[His abilities have been anywhere from partly to completely unavailable, fluctuating over the past few days, but keeping that information on the down low was a tactic he would use on anyone who knew about them, in any situation. The most problematic part is his Redirection, normally kept automatic. It's the most unreliable since it could disable at any moment due to interference. Active other uses of his ability are hit or miss, but still more reliable. The interference with his AIM field doesn't mean the field is gone.

He frowns at her words, watching her as she releases the knob only to go for it again and open the door.]


I doubt you can do a single thing about it just by having NPCs.

[Which rules does she mean? Surely she doesn't mean the laws that the afterlife reality operates on - the ones that have been on his mind ever since shit hit the fan. One needs Angel Player for that. So... which other rules?]
onewayroad: (stuck between the do or die)

[personal profile] onewayroad 2014-06-23 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[He changes his footing slightly so he can react faster if need be.]

...Don't be stupid, Yuri. Do you have any idea how poorly thought out and logistically problematic that plan is? And aren't you the one who told me not to fuck with the NPCs? You sure did bitch about me tossing one into a tree once.

[One that landed up there without a scratch, he might add.]
onewayroad: (the light defining)

[personal profile] onewayroad 2014-06-23 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe you should before you fuck yourself over.

[reaches out to grab her arm somewhere - upper arm, forearm, wrist, somewhere he can keep a firm grip so she doesn't go running off.]
onewayroad: (every cloud is grey)

[personal profile] onewayroad 2014-06-24 07:56 am (UTC)(link)
[he grips her arm firmly and tries to pull her away from the door, scowling as he spots her going for her gun. that just prompts him into pulling his out and holding it up. he doesn't directly aim for anywhere in particular, but he could shoot if he wanted to. he practically growls out his response in a rough tone.]

Since when? Who the fuck knows. But it's always been dangerous for anyone to get involved with me. They wind up injured, dead, kidnapped, targeted... and 99% of the time they're only there to use me. What makes you think I'd make it easy for anyone? If you're gonna bitch about this now, blame yourself for not being smart and giving up a long time ago.

[There's more to it, much more, but he's not particularly in the mood to bring those details up, or to ever reveal them.]

Now come back in here.

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violined: (awkward walki-in)

[personal profile] violined 2014-06-20 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The Programmer was doing this shit to weaken them. The no sleeping period had worn them out already, but now not a single moment of recovery was possible anymore. Everything was fucked up and fucked up and more fucked up and Kohaku feels like he should just lay down on the ground and sleep and ignore whatever could happen to him next. But there's no way he can do that. He can't give in to them, the monsters in charge of this place. And more than anything, he can't let himself go out before he knows what had become of this small group, these few people left, who he cared about.

Right now he hardly feels like he cares about anything though. How could he? He is running out of weapons... that was maybe the worst thing, that not even his weapons were reliable anymore. Knifes acting like rubber, bullets turning to flowers... Nothing worked the way it was supposed to work and then, when it did, it was gone to fast. Retrieving thrown knives was hard in this world.
His gun had two bullets left and he had only one last knife that he clutched as if his life depended on it. He hasn't been without weapons in years and the prospect of being unarmed, entirely helpless, has left him twitchy and on edge.

It's a relief when he finds the music room, even if being there now is pointless, entirely pointless. What band... what music... he still doesn't even have his violin back. This is a world without room for music now, making it the worst kind of world he could imagine.

Kohaku leans against the wall and tries to steady his breathing and thoughts as the door opens. Instinctively, he points the knife in its direction. His knuckles are white from his tight grip on it.

When he finally registers who's in the doorway, he can't believe his eyes. Literally. He refuses to believe it's Yuri, it's really Yuri. But if it was an illusion, would she look as beat and horrible as she does now? Probably not... It's hard to make up his mind on any reaction in this state, so Kohaku just waits in silence for whatever she is going to do. ]
violined: (chibichibirage)

[personal profile] violined 2014-06-21 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[ For another long moment Kohaku watches her quietly, just taking in everything that is so horribly wrong about her. It's hard to break the silence when she doesn't break it and that alone is off. So off it fits right back in with all they have been going through these past few days.
He vaguely understands why she wouldn't want to talk - if she were only an acqaintance maybe he'd have made no effort to speak either - but because it's her he can't let her. Next door through meant they wouldn't see each other again for god knows how long and this is the absolute last situation where they should be out of touch.
They need a plan, they need anything-

It's creepy not to speak to each other and suddenly he takes his knife down and reaches to grab her shoulder. If there's only silence then they'll never know what's going on and it's been so long since he last talked to anybody at all. ]


Hey. Where do you think you're going again so fast?
violined: (sexy lips)

[personal profile] violined 2014-06-21 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The sentiment is definitely something he agrees with. It's surprising to hear from her, the one who always taught him to not harm them. If it had been Kohaku's choice they'd all have been killed over and over and over.

However, he doesn't like the way Yuri speaks and especially not how she shoves him aside. His expression hardens. ]


Do you think I'll let you go alone? Didn't we agree to not do anything stupid on our own again.

[ Because it is stupid, fighting in this state. Kohaku knows Yuri is strong, but that won't help her against a steadily growing army, not when she's hurt already. She'd be out way too fast. ]
violined: (serious shit)

[personal profile] violined 2014-06-23 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ While Yuri might be able to suppress her own emotion, if only for the time being, Kohaku's not blessed with such a gift. As she speaks, he grits his teeth heavily - he wants to fight her on this, he wants to tell her that there's no way in hell he'll disappear... but he can't.
It's the same kind of thing he might have said to Lucille in life. The wording would have been far more negative, but in essence it's the same. And what did he end up doing? He became another corpse, nothing but another body for Lucille to further justify his fucked up thought that he's cursed with making people around him die.
He doesn't think he'll ever be able to leave this place, but likely nobody else who told her they'd stay with her had. In their situation there is no way to reassure one another. Yuri wouldn't believe him - and he wouldn't believe her if it was the other way around. Words were meaningless compared to the disappearances they'd faced.
In the end, he will be alone. He can't tell Yuri she won't be, because he feels that way about himself. He's gotten attached to so many people here and that was the biggest mistake he ever could have made. They were truly lunatics, thinking that any sort of friendship after death could last.
And still, he can't press the off-switch and let Yuri go and pretend she does not matter. She does - and the terror he feels at the thought of losing her through any means is real and all-consuming. ]


And what about that is not stupid? What about jumping in a sea of potential shadows on your own expecting to find that villain is not entirely reckless? That's not a matter of how lonely this shithole gets or about how much you can take on your own... it's just an insane suicide mission by numbers alone.

[ It'll still be a suicide mission with two of them, but that's fine by him now. So... ]

So if I can't talk you out of this bullshit to begin with, this time I'm not letting you go down unless I go down first.
violined: (eyes wide open)

[personal profile] violined 2014-06-23 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Whoa whoa whoa. Despite all her odd behaviour, it somehow didn't register with Kohaku that she might try and attack him. He must be truly tired, letting his guard down like that. Even though he moves in response, trying to avoid damage, he gets hit by her fist anyway.
It aches, but it's not enough to knock him out or whatever she was intending. There is a second of stunned silence as he takes a step back, but then his response is immediate and it's a kick aimed at her.

He doesn't really think about why they're hurting each other when he acts. He's tired, he's worn out and even if it's the person who he trusts the most who attacks him, she's not getting special treatment. Both of them move horribly clumsy compared to their normal skill - his counterattack is a mockery of the force he normally kicks with. He's doing it for the action in itself, but even if it hit at full force, it wouldn't do much more damage than he'd taken from her.
They're powerless, absolutely powerless. If they run amok now, they'll surely be NPCs again. The very thing they swore would never happen to them again is steps away from happening - he can't let that happen. ]
violined: (the nightmares in my head)

[personal profile] violined 2014-06-24 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Why the hell do you follow me? Well, that's a loaded question and he'll never be able to answer it for her fully accurately. He doesn't know for himself - Kohaku's never been an entirely self-reflected person. He's in denial about a lot of his feelings and he's lived well that way - why would he need to reflect when it only brings pain? ]

Idiot!! If I don't follow you, if I don't fight with you, and if I know you won't make it than what am I supposed to do?! I've only made it this far because you gave me a place to be!! You needed my guns and my music and that's why-- why I--

[ That's why I haven't run insane yet. That's why I haven't lost myself yet. He breaks off and storms forward again, grabbing her by the shoulders. ]

I don't want to disappear! I don't want to become an NPC! I don't want god knows what kind of shit is coming for us! But even less than that I want to watch any of that happen to you - I'm not going to get lost if I can't somehow help it, but there's no fucking point if I can't make sure you're not safe as well!!

[ It's selfish, it's super-selfish, how much he needs her to justify his own existence. He's loyal to Yuri, even devoted maybe, and he'd give most things for her without a second thought - but there is nothing selfless and nothing noble about it. As it is now, he needs her to exist. When he's on his own everything comes crashing down on him and he only panics and panics because there is just darkness and aimlessness.
Once before had he had people that made him feel like the SSS does - once before he's felt that maybe, at the side of those persons he could make a change and go somewhere. And what had he done? He died on them, leaving them, unable to make any change, unable to reach any destination. Stuck stuck and stuck.
Kohaku is a destructive person and maybe he's unable to protect anything permanently - and that's why they're here, at this stalemate. No matter who might end up losing whom, it would be their nightmare. Because they're both unable to protect what keeps them holding on. Someone who depends on you. Someone to depend on. Because from their earliest memories on, they watched what gave them security whither away in front of their eyes. ]

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